Meet The Monsters
- Performance HogWinner of the 2002 database resource eating contest. This Performance Hog is a real pig when it comes to IO, CPU, and memory resources. Degrading performance for the end users.
- Virtual VandalThe Virtual Vandal loves hiding critical server resource metrics needed to solve VMware database performance problems. Good luck finding them!
- Time SuckaDays of your life spent pouring over useless tools trying to figure out - WHAT IS THE PROBLEM, is what the Time-Sucka’ loves best. Fo’ shizzle!
- Query BlockerEveryone’s least favorite QB he places locks on rows or tables and blocks all other access to records. He is also a hit at parties with the forehead- beer-can-smash trick.
- Blame-O-SaurusAs president of the debate team, the Blame-o-saurus loves subjective information. Top weakness? Facts. Like those found by measuring response time.
- DevObstacleVoted "least easy-going", the DevObstacle loves to isolate IT teams and rigidly stands between DBAs and developers. No collaboration while he's around, boy howdy.
- SE Feature LeecherJust like that last relationship, moving from Enterprise Edition to Standard sucks! SE Feature Leecher is going to take away your performance monitoring tools that you used to rely on!
- Coming Soon